not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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