My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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