coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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