You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
