Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
