Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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