That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
