Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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