I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
