he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
