Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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