So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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