I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
