I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
