I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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