I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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