We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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