My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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