Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
