Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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