God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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