you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
