awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
