I think my vagina is haunted
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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