PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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