Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
