I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize