honey bunches of taint.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
