You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
