i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
