sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
