bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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