a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
