Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
