Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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