I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
