So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
