i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
