College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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