My room smells like vodka and shame
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize