I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
