I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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