i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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