The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
