Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
