shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize