you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
