I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk