Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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