ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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