Porn is love you can see.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
