And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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