why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
