i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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