I need to stop coming to work sober
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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