The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
