Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
