I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
