You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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