why didn't you poke me back
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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